Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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