i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
