Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
