Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
