i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
