Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize