You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
