I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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