Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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