@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm having to shit out rocks
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