she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
