At least make sure they are 18
Why
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
