whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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