Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
