tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i was born a porn star she said
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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