okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
