Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
