oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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