If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
