The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
