so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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