Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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