Do you still have your period?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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