Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
