Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
