Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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