i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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