Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Two words: blizzard sex
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
