he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Quick, to the slutcave!
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
