I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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