Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
