I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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