On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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