Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
