So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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