So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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