Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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