saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
