Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
