P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
