Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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