and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
