i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
