Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
