I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
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