i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
