It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
