I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
