just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
