I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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