my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
