he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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