I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
