mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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