i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
