if you like me you must not know who I am
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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