Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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