My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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