That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
