When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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